The Script/who’s from new york now?
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Scene Title: who’s from new york now?
“shhhh,” a group of women hiss at two loud, probably drunk men on the street.
“ya’ll kidding?” one of the men asks, laughing.
“shhhh,” they hiss again. “people are sleeping. clearly you aren’t from new york. why don’t you go back home to iowa?”
long silence.
“YOU’ALL ARE FAT CUNTS WHO CAN SUCK MY DICK,” the man screams. “WHO’S FROM NEW YORK NOW???”
Latest Script Entries
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Quote Title: Welcome to New York, Go Fuck Yourself.
Don’t you feel sorry for the people visiting this great city that arrive at Port Authority?
Who decided that these people should get off the bus and be greeted by the luminous clusterfuck that is 8th Avenue?
It’s like it’s all part of some bitter New Yorker’s diabolical plan to alienate tourists from rural areas – “Welcome to New York, Go Fuck Yourself.”
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Quote Title: A WALK IN THE PARK
Overheard because I was eavesdropping, one yuppie said to another, with an enormous uncovered toothy yawn, “The best thing that happened to me today was taking a spin on my chair, then racing Bob down the hallway.”
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Character Title: Easy Money
Overheard at a theatre’s VIP lounge bar:
an older gentleman complains to the guy sitting next to him that he’s really in a tough spot right now.
The guy asks, “Are you in the arts, or were you laid off? What?”
The gentleman proclaims, “No no no no. I’m just waiting for the royalty checks to come in.”
“Oh! What do you do?” The guy asks.
“Nothing, really! My father directed a few films in years past and since he’s passed away, his residuals go to me now. And the god damn check hasn’t come in yet!”
Well, come to find out… the gentleman’s father was Robert Wise. #richpeopleproblems -
Quote Title: Crazy Town
No wonder people think New Yorkers are crazy. This city makes me feel bipolar!
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Quote Title: GLORIFIED KILLERS
I overheard a Bimbo gushing about the Hotness of the Boston Bombers as seen on Extra TV.
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“STOP GLORIFYING KILLERS !!!
A symbol of this country’s resilience are those heroic survivors of the Boston Marathon portrayed in heartbreaking photos and live television programs without limbs and with bruised and bloody features. Yet wherever the Tsarnaev brothers are depicted, their previous movie-star good looks are shoved in our faces. Let’s have some up-to-date pictures of these monsters.”
