Character Title: NARCOLEPSY
In one segment of the VIEW, Bonnie Hunt interviewed her mother, who talks on the phone with her eyes closed in order to hear well. Everyone in the audience laughed at the silly looking mama.
I have since listened with my eyes closed. Bonnie’s MOM was right, audibility is improved. Now all my soft spoken friends think I suffer from narcolepsy.
Latest Script Entries
Character Title: QUACKERY
The jealous critics of Dr. Oz are dumb clucks and not smart as they are quacked up to be. Every supplement cited is recommended in glowing terms by Swanson, GNC, Amazon, Puritan Pride, Walgreens etc.. purveyors and pushers of Vitamin Pills, elixirs, and nutritional supplements. Those Columbia faculty eggheads are engaging in fowl play. For our greater good Dr. Oz encourages his flock to strive for better health with a peck of methods. It is a feather in his cap, just ducky, that Dr. Oz is popular, successful, and loved and that ain’t chicken feed.
Quote Title: HUNGRY EYES
“There were an an abundance of pizza places.
I Was Starving. A lady walked by with a pizza box, noticed my eyes were drooling! She stopped, smiled, and gave me the first slice.”
Scene Title: RATS
The grounds of the beautiful Unitarian Church are infested with rats. The superintendent was dragging to the curb, containers filled with black plastic garbage bags. As he lifted one of them a huge footlong rat jumped out and ran by my feet accompanied by my glass-shattering screams. The Super laughed and quips, ” Watch, there will be another one.” Damn, if he wasn’t right! I’ve seen an eclectic collection of caged rats in zoos; but I have Never seen such well fed athletic plump rats as those scampering about.
Scene Title: oooooooo OOOOOOOOOO
Snow was forecast at high noon when the light and airy snowflakes began. Scarcely ten minutes later the flakes were a fat mouthful,
Nectar of the Gods
Quote Title: Who schedules a wedding in Milwaukee…
Deep in the heart of the Polar Vortex 2.0, a middle aged woman is clearly upset with how people roll in the midwest. Her friend, wearing some sort of Alaskan Anorak type hood, nods in violent approval. I mean it is a fair question, who would do that, and why?