Character Title: NARCOLEPSY
In one segment of the VIEW, Bonnie Hunt interviewed her mother, who talks on the phone with her eyes closed in order to hear well. Everyone in the audience laughed at the silly looking mama.
I have since listened with my eyes closed. Bonnie’s MOM was right, audibility is improved. Now all my soft spoken friends think I suffer from narcolepsy.
Latest Script Entries
Quote Title: VOICE OF THE PEOPLE
Have we become a third-world country? Instead of deciding our issues at the ballot box, our citizens are taking to the streets, fighting, burning flags, jumping on police cars, throwing metal ramps at police horses and whatnot. It seems to me that at every rally protesters now find excitement and fun in mayhem.
Scene Title: Welcome to NY. Now get the hell out.
5/23/2016 – A trio of tourists were complaining non-stop about the inadequacies of the New York subway system, declaring that the problem could be fixed easily but those in charge didn’t want to do so. I said, “Look, guys. This city has bus, train, taxi, jitney, limo, pedicab and horse-drawn carriage. If that isn’t enough for you, grow wings and learn how to fly.”
Scene Title: ART OF THE DEAL OR CHEAP BASTARD?
If Trump gets to be president that means I have given a lap dance and shoved my breasts in a President’s face. Ha ha ha…
This was one of the lavish bankruptcy parties for Trump at the Plaza. I was booked as a dancing Gorilla with a huge balloon stuffed in my pants. Danced around like I was a male stripper. Then I whipped off my gorilla head, unzipped the body suit, and out came, in full Belly Dancing costume, Goddess Ambrosia. Trump liked my show and tipped me with a tray of shrimp.
Scene Title: The Manners Yo Mamma Taught You
03/14/2016, 10:55 a.m. – I asked a man for a swipe of his Metrocard to get into the subway this morning. He grinned and replied, “You want a swipe? What do I get out of it?” I’d never had anybody ask about compensation. So I merely said, “Thank you?” He retorted, “You’ve got some attitude on you!”
Yes, it’s called politeness.
Scene Title: CHAMPION
I was one third the way through of my swim when a young man swims next to me and then swims fast. The race was on. I let him lead for ten feet. Then POW! He was eating his own dust (figuratively speaking), after I turned on the heat, splicing the ocean with my body strokes, not letting up for almost a bay. I looked back. The defeat that was imprinted on his young muscular face as exhaustion ruled,was delicious. I FELT GREAT !!! Laid on the oceans bed drifting with my feet crossed and my arms behind my head. Not a pain or a care in the world – until a wave slapped me in my face.