You Are a Real NY’er When:
Character Title: Two of a Kind
It was obvious they were identical twins. Two brothers in their mid- to late-twenties, African-American, wearing matching fitness gear: the same blue-grey logoed t-shirts, same brown gym shorts, same black sneakers. They had amazing hair, big & bold a la Maxwell before he chopped it. They carried matching Trader Joe’s paper grocery bags and walked in unison. The best part, though, was that twin on the left was holding his bag in his left hand; the twin on the right was holding his in his right. Thus, they appeared to be a mirror image strolling down Broadway.
Scene Title: A Gentle Gesture
She emerged from the elderly residence home and gingerly descended the stoop. She slowly shuffled her way across the sidewalk with the intent of crossing mid-block. As she steps off the curb into the street, the young hostess from the non-descript Italian restaurant next door looks up. She puts down the delivery menus she’s trying to hand out to the midday lunch crowd, glides across the sidewalk and takes an arm. With a tender touch, she gently navigates the older woman through taxis, delivery vans and bike messengers stopped at the red light. Honk all you want – we’re taking our time.
Character Title: The Baroness of Brunch
She was a hardened grandmother in her late 60s, out for brunch at the diner. She sat down and declared, “I’m having an omelette…with Swiss & sausage,” so decisive at first. “No, cheddar & sausage. What are you having?” Her companion hadn’t even opened his menu. “Oh, they have waffles. What are you getting?” Still no answer. The waiter appeared. “Drinks?” he asks. “No, we’re ready to order.” She’s decided and decisive this time. “I’ll have a coffee, tomato juice – a large, scrambled eggs with corned beef hash and rye toast – no butter. Got all that?” Untrusting, she repeats it, just to be sure.
Scene Title: Comrades in Shine
The sleepy shoeshine man sits on the corner of 42nd & 5th, awaiting his next customer during the peak of the morning rush. He perks up when a prospect approaches. “See this?” the potential customer says, pointing down to his already shiny shoes. “Thirty two years ago I learned how to do this and I still do it myself to this day!” He walks away, so proud. His comrade in shine sits back down, so defeated.
Irish-American taxi driver, stuck in morning, crosstown traffic.