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Justine Swartz

Brooklyn, Brooklyn Heights

You Are a Real NY’er When:

It says so on your birth certificate.


  • Character Title: SEASONAL REHAB HELP

    I will NOT let the BITCH Tashanie know I would Never Ever Hire her again! Sunday, Monday inclement weather: No Beach.  Saturday, the phone rings and Tashanie tells me She Is Not Coming! (You know how much I need and love swimming at the beach- how how much it destroyed me, because of my accident not to swim this past summer.) She knows that too. I pleaded for her to show up. I was distraught at the thought of losing another day not swimming. I begged her. She let the conversation go on then laughed and said she was here and waiting outside. BITCH!

  • Character Title: BABY BOY

    Quite evident from Beckett’s pictures he is a Charmer. He exudes warmth and personality. He is NOT like any other baby I’ve seen.
    Since I have been blessed with your pictures; I have been looking, noticing, comparing Beckett to all other children, and even though Beckett and I have never met in the flesh; I am most positive you have a Rock Star in your hands. He will be loved or envied by his peers. I know he will be brilliant with an unbeatable personality because of the love he has received everyday of his life.

  • Quote Title: VOICE OF THE PEOPLE

     Have we become a third-world country? Instead of deciding our issues at the ballot box, our citizens are taking to the streets, fighting, burning flags, jumping on police cars, throwing metal ramps at police horses and whatnot. It seems to me that at every rally protesters now find excitement and fun in mayhem. 

  • If Trump gets to be president that means I have given a lap dance and shoved my breasts in a President’s face. Ha ha ha…
     This was one of the lavish bankruptcy parties for Trump at the Plaza. I was booked as a dancing Gorilla with a huge balloon stuffed in my pants. Danced around like I was a male stripper.  Then I whipped off my gorilla head, unzipped the body suit, and out came, in full Belly Dancing costume, Goddess Ambrosia. Trump liked my show and tipped me with a tray of shrimp.  

  • Scene Title: CHAMPION

    I was one third the way through of my swim when a young man swims next to me and then swims fast. The race was on.  I let him lead for ten feet. Then POW! He was eating his own dust (figuratively speaking), after I turned on the heat, splicing the ocean with my body strokes, not letting up for almost a bay. I looked back. The defeat that was imprinted on his young muscular face as exhaustion ruled,was delicious. I FELT GREAT !!!  Laid on the oceans bed drifting  with my feet crossed and my arms behind my head. Not a pain or a care in the world – until a wave slapped me in my face.

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