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Justine Swartz

Brooklyn, Brooklyn Heights

You Are a Real NY’er When:

It says so on your birth certificate.


  • If Trump gets to be president that means I have given a lap dance and shoved my breasts in a President’s face. Ha ha ha…
     This was one of the lavish bankruptcy parties for Trump at the Plaza. I was booked as a dancing Gorilla with a huge balloon stuffed in my pants. Danced around like I was a male stripper.  Then I whipped off my gorilla head, unzipped the body suit, and out came, in full Belly Dancing costume, Goddess Ambrosia. Trump liked my show and tipped me with a tray of shrimp.  

  • Scene Title: CHAMPION

    I was one third the way through of my swim when a young man swims next to me and then swims fast. The race was on.  I let him lead for ten feet. Then POW! He was eating his own dust (figuratively speaking), after I turned on the heat, splicing the ocean with my body strokes, not letting up for almost a bay. I looked back. The defeat that was imprinted on his young muscular face as exhaustion ruled,was delicious. I FELT GREAT !!!  Laid on the oceans bed drifting  with my feet crossed and my arms behind my head. Not a pain or a care in the world – until a wave slapped me in my face.

  • Scene Title: BEAUTIFUL WOMAN

          I am Really Good at complimenting strangers with heartfelt passion. A young lady, all of her very ample curves were tightly bound by a shocking Lilac form fitting dress, was striding towards me.
     I said, ” You are a vision of loveliness come to life.” She sparkled and burst out with happiness saying,”This is the first time I am wearing a dress in two years.
    I have been on a diet and working out.”
           We talked a little more and she floated away from me.

  • “My life is so hard and you have made
    it worse. Do you know what it is to have a full belly and then have your food taken
    out of your mouth?  I am swallowing my tears and feasting on misery.
          Thank you.”

  • Scene Title: BAD MEDICINE

        Eduardo’s Aunt came in from Peru. The Doctors here said she had a cancerous brain tumor. I strongly advised Eduardo not to let his Aunt have the operation. She was talking, laughing, walking, before the operation. Now she is a vegetable, drooling on the bedsheets, sent home to die. 
           I feel so bad for poor Eduardo. 

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