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Justine Swartz

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Location:
Brooklyn, Brooklyn Heights
Joined:
09.03.2012
Scenes:
23
Quotes:
7
Characters:
3

You Are a Real NY’er When:

It says so on your birth certificate.

Comments

  • Scene Title: BAD MEDICINE

        Eduardo’s Aunt came in from Peru. The Doctors here said she had a cancerous brain tumor. I strongly advised Eduardo not to let his Aunt have the operation. She was talking, laughing, walking, before the operation. Now she is a vegetable, drooling on the bedsheets, sent home to die. 
           I feel so bad for poor Eduardo. 

  • Character Title: QUACKERY

       The jealous critics of Dr. Oz are dumb clucks and not smart as they are quacked up to be. Every supplement cited is recommended in glowing terms by Swanson, GNC, Amazon, Puritan Pride, Walgreens etc.. purveyors and pushers of Vitamin Pills, elixirs, and nutritional supplements. Those Columbia faculty eggheads are engaging in fowl play. For our greater good Dr. Oz encourages his flock to strive for better health with a peck of methods. It is a feather in his cap, just ducky, that Dr. Oz is popular, successful, and loved and that ain’t chicken feed. 

  • Quote Title: HUNGRY EYES

       “There were an an abundance of pizza places.
    I Was Starving. A lady walked by with a pizza box, noticed my eyes were drooling! She stopped, smiled, and gave me the first slice.”     

  • Scene Title: RATS

           The grounds of the beautiful Unitarian Church are infested with rats. The superintendent was dragging to the curb, containers filled with black plastic garbage bags. As he lifted one of them a huge footlong rat jumped out and ran by my feet accompanied by my glass-shattering screams. The Super laughed and quips, ” Watch, there will be another one.” Damn, if he wasn’t right!  I’ve seen an eclectic collection of caged rats in zoos; but I have Never seen such well fed athletic plump rats as those scampering about. 

  • Scene Title: oooooooo OOOOOOOOOO

          Snow was forecast at high noon when the light and airy snowflakes began. Scarcely ten minutes later the flakes were a fat mouthful,
    Nectar of the Gods


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